The Fruit of the Spirit—one of the most preached sermons from the Bible. I got the privilege to teach this lesson to my children and, I must say, that I thoroughly enjoyed watching them learn. Judah and Sairah took us through the fruit of the Spirit with verses from the Bible and tunes—they started the series in the U.K. and completed it in Singapore. This month as we look at the last one on the list, I sensed in my spirt that I needed to study more about it and not just merely teach—the last and, probably, the most difficult one, “Self-control.” If you have not gone through the series on the Fruit of the Spirit by the brother-sister duo, please do watch the videos; the kids have put tunes to the verses which makes it fun and easy to learn—both for adults and children. You can find it in the Ela Koinonia website under the section ‘Raising Judah and Sairah’ or you can log into YouTube to find their videos under the same channel name.
Getting back to our topic—lately, I have been delving deep into the Word to understand what self-control truly means. The more I learnt, the more I desired it. I believe God had a major hand in tutoring me the truth and the significance of self-control through life lessons. I am still work in progress and we all are that until we see our Father, face to face. However, it is key that we become intentional about our walk with God and reflecting His character through our fruit. I have seen visible changes in my attitude pertaining to self-control but there are still areas and corners that need mending.
Paul talks about the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23:
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Self-control is last in the list but definitely not the least. It is super hard because we find it really difficult to deny our flesh and it is easy to make excuses for the things we do and the way we do it. Self-control isn’t easy, but the Word of God tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is evidence of true Christianity—which means that every carpel (section) is important.
Let’s take a look at the verses the Paul writes further in the same chapter:
24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
“Keep in step with the Spirit”—that is a highlight portion for me. In the initial verses of this chapter, Paul gives us the secret to self-control. In verse 16, he says, “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” It simply means that if we rely on our own selves and our ability, it will be very hard, and in some cases, nearly impossible. But Paul tells the church in Galatia that the secret to self-control is giving the Holy Spirit, all the control. As Christians, we know that once we confess our sins and accept Jesus to be our Lord and personal Saviour, He gives us the “GIFT” of the Holy Spirit—our aide, our guide. And it is the Holy Spirit who gives us the power that is beyond our understanding and strength—what many call, supernatural, and what I call, God’s natural. In this article, I will be discussing two issues that I have been dealing with lately pertaining to self-control.
Food, a foe?
The first one is FOOD. No, not gluttony, just food. If you’ve gone through my blogs, you’d know that I’ve had a season of deep loss; a painful season after the loss of my father and everything that came with it. I was hurt and filled with pain and anguish. During this time of low, I made a bond with my therapist—Food. So, when I was sad, I would go and eat; when I was hurt, hurting, I would crave for something sweet or savoury. Every time I felt like I was under some attack, I would run to food. Eating sort of relieved my stress but little did I know that it was only suppressed for a while; it always came back and hit me harder. When the Holy Spirit revealed this bit, I had to put a big stop to this toxic cycle of how I thought about food. I began running to God instead. I inadvertently at some point thought food could make me whole again and would satisfy the cravings of my soul. It was a lie—very far from the truth. We know that Jesus is the only one that truly can satisfy us.
Although we know this aforementioned truth, we forget about it when a crisis hits us. And thus, self-control becomes hard. We need to deeply understand the truth that God is interested in our whole being.
Philippians 3:18-19—what I call an eye-opener for me.
18 “For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things.”
One thing I knew for sure—“I did not want to be an enemy of the cross!” The bit “their god is their stomach” hit me like a train. “Them that are called to be enemies of the cross of Christ, their destiny was aimed at destruction.” I know that Jesus bought me with the price He paid with His blood on the cross. God sent His only Son because I am important to Him—my soul, mind and body. This deep understanding of my identity, made me run to God every time I hit a low. My therapist was no longer food. I strongly felt the Holy Spirit empower me in this area of my life and I saw tangible evidence of my progress.
Highly reactive!
My next big issue—my reactions. The moment I hear something wrong, a false accusation or injustice, I vocalise my emotions loud and clear. Sometimes, my reactions cause more harm than good. I have always struggled to keep quiet and walk away instead of my blunt and sometimes, harsh reactions. I had to learn how to RESPOND instead of REACTING—this was particularly hard as I mostly RECIPROCATED the same tone and energy towards the ones attacking me.
One of the verses that was my father’s favourite, and one he would quote often was, James 1:19-20,
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
I have been meditating on these verses for the past couple of months and yes, it has definitely stirred up something new in me. We as Christians know that righteousness and justice are the foundations of God’s throne. And therefore, in Romans 12:19 it says,
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
This means that I don’t have to avenge the people that wronged me. Instead, I take it to God in “OBEDIENCE,” as that is what the Scripture clearly tells me to do.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 10:5,
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
So, it does not really depend on what people say to or about me. I have a choice to think if those statements belong to me or whether I should just leave it where I received it from. I do not have to react but I can choose to respond to those hurtful things that are thrown at me, in a manner that is pleasing to God. And every time something is thrown at me, I can take a moment to ask myself if the statement is true. Is it beneficial for me to respond? Is it what God wants me to do? And if the answer is ‘NO’ to all the above questions, then I need to stop there and not open the doors of my heart and mind to react in a way that does not honour God. It does not stop there—I have to take those words that were meant to damage and hurt me, to God and hold it up to the truth that is spoken over me in His Word. Only then, can I see things with a right perspective that “what the enemy meant for evil, He turns it for good.” As Apostle Peter says, “God has given me everything for life and godliness.” So, even though it is very hard for me to subdue my flesh, and even though it is a pattern that I’ve done for years together, I can break it because “I CAN WITH THE HELP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!”
All I need to do is believe the truth written about me and for me in the Word of God. The Word is my yardstick, the Word is my identity and the Word is my truth.
Not to avenge, not to get angry, not to respond in a way of anger, but choose to live a life that honours God. A perspective shift is what I needed to enlarge my self-control from what my flesh wanted. A heavenly vision is what can create this shift. So, if you are like me, and you desire to master self-control in a particular area of your life, ask God to give you “HEAVENLY VISION,” as this has been a game changer for me.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 says,
24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
What exhortation and a warning from Apostle Paul to us! It is very clear that we have to discipline our bodies to persevere on in order to win the race.
Titus 2: 11-14
11 For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. 12 And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, 13 while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. 14 He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.
This is the standard that has been set for us—a life of wisdom, righteousness and devotion to God. And we live with the hope of the day when the glory of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ will be revealed. This hope changes our objective of living—a shift in our perceptions. And because of this “HOPE” we can live a life with the fullness of joy, eager to do what is good.
You might be dealing with the same issues or some other issues of self-control, but I urge you to SURRENDER IT TO GOD. It is time to give the steering wheel of our life to the Lord. And take heart friends, although, self-control is hard it isn’t impossible because the Holy Spirit, our helper and counselor is with us throughout this journey called life.
Consider this:
Here are some practical ways I have been following to work on areas of self- control, teaming with the Holy Spirit:
Journal honestly: One of the first things I did was writing down the areas of my life that I wanted to see a change. Asking the Holy Spirit to reveal areas in my life and writing it down made a difference because now I was able to see the list of those corners and crevices of my life that needed mending. I surrendered it to God and asked the Holy Spirit to nurture me as I read and meditated the Word.
Invest wisely: I began to invest in my spiritual growth wisely. From reading the Bible to meditating on it and listening to other men and women of God, I began being intentional about my faith. When in crisis, I ran to God and read His Word. I chose to believe that God has plans that are for my good.
Guard constantly: Whenever I feel like I am falling short or getting into a toxic downward spiral, I try to speak the truth from the Word into my life—loud and clear. I am on guard constantly because now, I am more aware of God’s presence in my life. And holding my thoughts against God’s WORD will bring a calm beyond understanding.
Be accountable: This one was an important one for me, finding somebody you can trust—your spouse or friend—who can hold you accountable for your actions, words, deeds and areas that you’re struggling with. Someone who would cheer you on in your small and big victories.