You looked at me ad I turned away,
Didn’t want you to see my face today,
I knew I was more than those acne scars,
But my pimples are too big for your fancy cars,
A fence of black around my eyes,
And oil wells, thanks to those fries,
My face spoke an untold story,
Of hills and valleys, of wars and fury,
But you wouldn’t be able to know it,
For your cerebrum is small, it wouldn’t fit
Footnotes:
Teenage years are hard for some, just alright for some others and “perfect” for none. You break out, try to fit in to beauty standards and, most of all, confused by the changes in the body. I remember having a terrible acne issue when I was 16. It wasn’t sweet. These tiny boils brought down my self-esteem so much that I stopped attending social gatherings altogether. On top of the unpleasant reflection of myself in the mirror, I heard comments and putdowns from relatives and neighbours; some were ruthless with their comments. The worst I have heard, “Your face is so dirty; I don’t even want to look at it.”
“Don’t you wash your face regularly?”
“Stop eating fried food!”
“I will give you the contact of dermatologist. My nephew’s face was also ugly like yours but after treatment his skin is fair.”
And guess what, these comments came from born-again believers. People who called themselves followers of Christ. I cannot imagine Jesus telling me, “Your face is dirty!”
I was broken by these comments, smirks, sympathetic looks and unsolicited advice. I tried everything on the books and the internet to get rid of the acne but all of it backfired. I had reactions and scars on my face as a result of experimenting different techniques. At 17, I gave up trying. I lost trust in people around, especially the ones who over-spiritualised their comments.
I remember one of the church members saying,
“God gave you such a good face and you spoiled it with your sinful ways; by looking at your face, I can say that the devil is at work in you. This is God punishing you!”
How do people even come up with these statements? For all you know, I began crying out to God for all my sinful ways. I fasted and prayed for my acne to go away. I was so naïve back then.
Nothing happened and I felt like even God gave up on me. Around this time, I attended a Christian youth camp. The camp counsellor spoke about the lady with the blood issue. She said something that changed my perspective of God.
“There is never a moment that our God is not sovereign.”
Although it was hard for me to digest this fact, I knew it was right. There was purpose in the pain that woman went through for 12 years. In these 12 years, she knew what pain meant, she knew what isolation meant, she knew what bankruptcy meant and she knew what desperation meant. This made the miracle she got, life-changing. She knew the moment she touched the Lord’s garment, that no force on earth can do anything to her anymore. Her fear was immediately replaced with faith. All those years of people commenting on her, the insecurities, the scars and the scoffs were all gone in a fraction of a second.
The counsellor ended her sermon saying, “God gives us the capacity to carry heartache and hope.”
As funny as it may sound to you, I knew at that point that there was a purpose in my pimples. God was shaping me to be empathetic, kind and loving. I got to know this better, a couple of years later when I started working with teenagers. I worked with girls who were not confident about their looks, many who were trying to fit into beauty standards and many more who were bogged down by comments from other people. God used my pain to minister and encourage these girls. I urge you to remind yourself today how much purpose you have because God did not make a mistake in creating you.
Also, if you get the opportunity to harm those who hurt you, choose to offer mercy instead. This is important because how we treat others says everything about whether or not we have had a deep revelation of the Father’s love.
To all the young girls reading this, here is my two cents:
“Don’t let momentary crisis, or hurtful words around you silence His Spirit within you–Rise above, you’re a warrior!”