Isn’t it easy to blame our actions on our past or upbringing? Maybe it is. But is “easy” right?
About a month ago, Joel and I got into a conversation with our mentors about a few double-faced believers. Some of them brag about walking with the Lord for four to five decades but they are not what they pose to be. On the outside, they might seem like the ‘saintly’ kind but they have a different face at home; they treat their spouses, children and relatives in a manner that is completely contrary to what they preach and does not honour God. All their ‘inside traits’ are often tagged as a result of their upbringing. Be it anger, gossip, dishonesty, being unapologetic or greedy, the excuse is usually something associated with the past—tough childhood, toxic parents, poverty and abuse, to name a few.
The Spirit of God nudged me to look at my life—“do I also blame my past for my sinful actions of today?” “Am I living a sinful life?” I got a few negative emotions that I often dismissed as “natural response”. These emotions were a reflection of what I went through growing up but I had to deeply delve into the repercussions of these feelings. Many of us may feel entitled to express those negative emotions because we were brought up in a certain way that made it seem like it’s “OKAY.” The Lord urged me to stop making excuses for my actions and to start being accountable for my sin. A moment of clarity, like some say. I could clearly see a cycle of excuses in certain areas of life and it had to be broken.
As a matter of fact, this blame game started in the Garden of Eden.
Genesis 3:11-13
11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.
Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent—both of them refused to take ownership of their sin. Instead, they blamed it on the other.
Am I the way I am because something was done to me or not done to me?
It is high time we realise that we are not the sum total of the way we are brought up—we are a new creation in Christ.
A verse that Joel reminded me during our conversation about this blame game is 2 Corinthians 5:17
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Another verse that the Lord reminded me through my friend, Simi, is Galatians 2:20,
20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
All my pain, hurt, bitterness, anger is crucified with Christ. And because Christ lives in me, I reflect Him instead of my old self. Christ is who defines us now, not our upbringing or our situation.
If Christ rose again with His scars and suffering, so can we. Our scars and sufferings of the past should not dictate our actions of today. It is dead, and now we are a new creation, alive in Christ. Our Risen King has made a way for us to rise above our past and keep pressing on in righteousness. Let us choose today to break that generational curse—the cycle of excuses to express or act in a manner that displeases God.
Let us challenge ourselves to truly live according to God’s standard for our life. Live your life filled with the Fruit of the Spirit. If the Holy Spirit dwells in us then surely the Fruits of the Spirit – Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control has to be manifested in our daily life. The old character and personality is gone. Let’s strive to be true to God and true to people whether its immediate family, friends or strangers.
Let others see Christ in us and not our past. We are called to be sons and daughters of God. We are co-heirs with Christ, a royal priesthood—this is the new creation, new life that Christ fought for us. Let go of all the sins that hinder us from living for God and be intentional in our walk with Him. Let us grow our Spirit and soul daily—nurture it with worship, fertilise it with the Word, pull out all the weeds of sin and let God do the pruning. Remember, when we see our Father, face to face, we will only be accountable for our life and our sin, nobody else’s sin or the way we were raised or the culture that we belonged to will matter.
A passage that I’ve been ruminating on during my meditation time these last few weeks:
1 John 3: 8-9
8 The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. 9 No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God.
The truth of the matter is that it really does not matter how long we have known God. What matters is whether we have been living as per the standards of God. It is not about the quantity of time but the quality of life we live for God. And most importantly, we need to understand that our sin is not dependent on other people or our circumstances. We need to humble ourselves and repent daily before His throne of grace. Take ownership for our sins, confess it and seek forgiveness—this is the only way to walk righteously.
I have learnt the importance of not justifying my sins inorder to pacify my conscience. I have understood the need to truly take my sin to God and say, “God, I am in desperate need for You to do a work in my heart.” The years I have gone to church, my identity as a Pastor’s daughter, my position as a worship leader, Christian writer and the good deeds I did in the name of Christ will not matter. I can do all that and still keep sinning. Like David prayed, would you join me in praying “create in me a clean heart God and renew a right spirit within me.”
So, lets write our past and wrongs on the sand so that it may be washed by the sea of Christ’s forgiveness. And engrave “Jesus” on the rock of our hearts that it stays and reflect His love.
Consider this:-
As we step into a season of uprooting sin from our lives and walk according to the standard set by God, let us keep in mind to let God IN and our past, OUT.
Introspect: Identify cycles of excuses in your life and be wary of continuing in it. We often measure ourselves with the yardstick of this world but what we truly need to do is strive for the life that God has set for us. Your family or your upbringing is not an excuse to lean on when you do something wrong. Things may have been hard but that does not mean that you reflect the same to others.
Initiate: Take a step to do something about your sin. Righteousness does not come naturally, one needs to be intentional about it. Cautiously and faithfully—that is how you need to be in your walk of salvation.
Incinerate: Time to burn your past! We are a new creation in Christ. Our old self is crucified with Christ and dead—this needs to be incinerated now. And from the ashes we rise for He makes beauty out of it.
Include: Make Jesus the centre of all that you do. When He is included in your life, daily, it becomes a norm for us to live righteously—we begin to thrive in His love and living as per His standards does not seem like a Herculean task.