Forgiveness—not mine, His

2021 is a year I will not forget. While it taught me a lot of life lessons, it was a hard year when it came to relationships. I saw the grey areas and the ugly parts of relationships in a whole new level. Though I knew in the back of my head that the Lord is using all of it for my good, I had to intentionally work on what He was doing and trying to communicate with me in that season. They say some relationships are for a reason, for a season and some, for a lifetime but I can tell this boldly that God brings all these relationships into one’s life for growth and sanctification. 

As God kept on working on me throughout the year in this area, I transitioned from bad to better at dealing with people.  At the end of the year, one of my friend’s that runs a Women’s study group reached out to me and said, “Can you teach the ladies about relationships?” God, You have such a great sense of humour I thought—not only did He want to make me whole but He also wanted to use my example as a teaching tool for other women. Trust me when I say that I am still in the journey of healing; I am not perfect yet but the Lord in His mercy and grace has given me the wisdom to manage and even let go of certain relationships that were detrimental to me. Most times, the struggles and trials in your life is for the benefit of others. Unless you empathise with them, how can you edify their spirit? So, know that nothing is an accident. As I was delving into the Scripture, I understood that our Lord empathises with people.
Hebrew 4:15

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.”

I love this version of the scripture where the word “empathise” is used. Jesus not only understands us, but He empathises with our situation because He has already gone through it; He has felt what I feel. When He came down to earth, He was fully man and fully God. The ‘fully man’ bit meant that He was tried and tempted in every way. And yet He lived a life pleasing to God—an example to us. 

John 10: 10 is a familiar verse to most of us,

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Who is the thief here? The enemy! He is hovering around you every minute to steal your peace, kill your creativity and destroy your life. A roaring lion, ready to devour you. And sometimes, he uses other people as instruments to bring about this downfall. But with Jesus, we learn to thrive through all of it.

Keep these two verses in mind as they are key in this article. Let me warn you, this one is a Scripture-loaded piece, so buckle up with your double-edged sword.

I will be looking at three scenarios from Mathew 26. This chapter showed me that God understands heartbreaks in relationships.

Part I: from vs14-16

14 Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests 15 and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So, they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. 16 From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

Judas Iscariot knew Jesus. He walked, talked, and ate with Him. Judas also saw the great and mighty works He did. And yet, he was ready to betray his dear friend for 30 pieces of silver. Imagine Jesus’ disappointment! One among His disciples, His inner circle, sold His life for a few pieces of silver. The hurt must have been deep and yes, it was a heartbreak moment. 

Have you had or have a Judas in your life ? I want to remind you that Jesus empathises with you. 

Part II: vs36-46

36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Jesus knew what was coming, and He was anguished and distressed. To the point that He vocalises His pain—“my soul is crushed with grief to the point of death!” And He goes on to request the ones who came with Him to watch and pray. When He got back from praying, He found the disciples asleep. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He vocalises His need for prayer support again and He goes back to pray one more time. When He comes back the second time, the disciples were still asleep. Instead of chastising them this time, He just quietly left to pray a third time. And yet again, when He got back, they were asleep. 

Jesus must have felt so alone at that point of time. Despite vocalising His grief, the ones who were close to Him took the matter lightly. He wanted His friends to be there, be His support. Have you had situations in your life where you wanted your family and friends to have your back? To take you seriously. Jesus understands your pain—His dear friends took him lightly despite being vulnerable about His feelings. Many times, the people closest to you are the ones who will hurt you the most; the one who would say awful things.

Part III: vs 69-75

69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.

70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”

72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”

73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”

74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”

Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.

This bit talks about Peter disowning Jesus—not once, not twice but three times. The same Peter who walked closely with Jesus. The one who promised to be loyal to Him. The one who experienced walking on water. He had seen it all. And yet, he chose to deny the fact that he knows Jesus. “I don’t know the man!”, he said. Another heartbreak moment for Jesus—His friend denying their friendship. 

Do we have a Simon Peter in our life?

We may have multiple Peters. But know that Jesus empathises with you, and He will surely give you the wisdom to get through. It also teaches us to set our eyes on Jesus and not on the people or things of this world as men of this world may let you down, but Jesus never will.

In the chapters ahead, we go on to see Peter being filled by the Holy Spirit and doing great exploits for the Lord, to the point that he ends up being a martyr. This is proof that the Holy Spirit convicts and brings about transformation.

One of my favourite authors, Corrie ten Boom, quotes in her book The Hiding Place—“Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him….Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness….And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command, the love itself.”

It is not our forgiveness, but His. Like He died for me, He died for the person who has wronged me. People, including you and me, are not perfect—there is a chance that we break hearts and sometimes, be victims of a heartbreak. But the Holy Spirit brings about transformation, inside out. It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can extend divine forgiveness. It is difficult to forgive hard people but as Corrie ten Boom says, it is not our forgiveness, but His forgiveness that we need. We can only love people who have wronged us through the power of the Holy Spirit. The secret of forgiving hard people is given in Hebrews 12:2,
“fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” 

It is only through Him and with Him that we can live a life pleasing to God. And the Holy Spirit who convicts, helps, and navigates us through this journey of healing and restoration.

So, this is my prayer for you and me:
“Holy Spirit, come and saturate us with Your power so that Your fruit would be reflected in our lives.”