T’was Grace

Clamour—a hundred little broken pieces shattered on the floor. A panic-stricken seven-year-old—frozen, blanked-out, fretting about the consequences. A moment of silence—a lot of clarity, a certain calm.

The other day, my son Judah dropped a valuable handpicked showpiece and it shattered into pieces. It was sometime before bedtime and I was already tired after a long day’s work—I really did not have the patience or strength to clean another mess. Normally, I would have given him a long lecture in a high-raised tone on how he needed to be careful with things. However, I was calm. I looked at Joel and he was calm as well. Judah was in shock though. I wonder what might have gone through his mind at that point. I had clarity, and the whole incident is still super clear in my memory. I felt the Holy Spirit strongly nudging me to be calm and use the opportunity to teach my son the true meaning of grace. And oh! What a beautiful end to the day we had! I was able to be clean the mess, guard my mouth and make my mind understand that the thing that Judah broke is nothing but a thing at the end of the day. The only thing that mattered that day was seeing my son absorb the real essence of grace—it was so worth it. All the material things of great worth suddenly seemed so less compared to what we learnt together as a family. This also reminded me that obedience to the Holy Spirit brings joy and peace into our lives.

Ephesian 4:29

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Psalm 141:2-3

² May my prayer be set before you like incense;
    may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.

³ Set a guard over my mouth, Lord;
    keep watch over the door of my lips.

The Bible is very clear about what comes out of one’s mouth. Harsh and unkind words out of stress, frustration and sleeplessness are an addiction—this is something that the Lord has been reminding me especially in the last year. We try to rationalise how we speak to the ones around us—our children, spouse, helpers and other family members. Sometimes, it is to the point that we think that deserve the way we speak to them. We fail to understand that harsh words cause serious damage not only to the person who hears it but also to ourselves. It harms both the body and mind. It defiles us and reflects what we are made of.

Mathew 15:11

What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”

It is easy to speak death, to put down people and declare negative statements, but it takes God and His grace in us to do the opposite. Mothers feel disciplining means putting down their children—sometimes it is even used as a way to shut them up. Motherhood is not meant to destroy but to strengthen children. It is the greatest honour we have and if we have been treated badly in our childhood, it is time that we break that cycle. If you are one of those moms, now is the time to reconcile and ask for forgiveness from your children. In our home, over this year we have dedicated our lives to renew our minds with the word of God every day, to speak words of life and to be thankful to God for the blessing of family and children.

Romans 7:15

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 

Paul’s struggle with doing what is righteous is evident in this verse. The best part here is that Paul is honest about sin. We all have been freed of sin but we still continue to live under its influence sometimes—this is exactly what Paul tries to say. Even when we want to do what is right, we are divided by our desires. 

How can we break this?

The simple answer is—self-control. We need to be intentional in our change in this aspect. From being watchful of our words to refining our statements before declaring it, change is a tedious process. When our words are hope-filled and full of grace, we can turn situations around.

The lyrics of the song by Bethel—For the One—capture grace so beautifully:

So, help me to love with open arms, like You do,
A love that erases all the lines, and sees the truth,
Oh, that when they look in my eyes, they would see You,
Even in just a smile; they would feel the Father’s love

So let all my life, tell of who You are,
And the wonder of, Your never-ending love,”
Oh, let all my life, tell of who You are
That You’re wonderful, and such a good Father

This advent season, let us be kind in our words and make sure that all that comes out of our mouth are saturated with hope. Let our life be the proof of His love—reflect how wonderful and good our Father is.

No matter how spiritual we are, if our words don’t glorify our God, then all else is nothing but mere pretence. 

James 1:26

²⁶ Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

This reminds me of what Mahatma Gandhi quoted once:
“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Isn’t it time we change that? To focus on not only What Would Jesus Do but also on What Would Jesus say?

This season, my hope and prayer is that we can all reflect Christ through your words. As they say, look before your leap and think before you speak. Grace—we got it freely, why not give it freely to others?