Last weekend was super hectic for our family; we had guests coming over for meals, we were invited for dinner, Joel was preaching in church, and, most of all, Judah fell really sick. It was also the weekend when we published the article about the healing power of the Holy Communion–impeccable timing, you would say. As a parent, my heart broke when I saw my child struggle. He had a high temperature, and cough and kept throwing up; although he was extremely exhausted, he could not sleep because of the continuous coughing. On Friday, I declared the Word of God over him and prayed for his healing. It was a stressful day but I still decided to go ahead with our plans to host people for dinner at our place the next day. I believed with all my heart that God would do a miracle for Judah that night. However, Judah did not get any better; neither could he sleep nor could we. Great space and time for unbelief to creep in. Especially, when there is the ‘sleep factor’ in the situation.

Yes, I wanted to rest, not only for myself but also for my son. I did not stop praying or declaring the Word of God over Judah; I pressed on. I went about with my preparations for the guests and as I was getting lunch ready, Judah got worse. My heart was aching as I saw my little boy struggling to keep his head up. His body was not even responding well to the medicine that we gave him. Suddenly a spirit of sadness and lull dragged me into a downward spiral of self-pity. I tagged myself as a victim and began questioning God:

“Why is this happening to me?”
“Why now?”
“We just shared about the power of the Lord’s table, and this is what we get?”
“We are a family who serves you, and instead of being strengthened, we are feeling weighed down?”

Physically, I felt a heavy boulder tied onto my leg and it was pulling me down, sinking me in a pool of negative thoughts, doubt, unbelief, sadness, and self-pity. It was a meltdown–physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I even went on to say, “I wish my Dad was around to check on us and shower us with his love and care!” And the moment I said it, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge and shake my heart. It was like a jolt, reminding me of my Heavenly Father who is always by my side.

I heard a voice in my head say, “Don’t make this about you!” As bitter as it sounded, it was the truth. I played the victim card and it was time to break it. The Lord reminded me that He is more concerned about my family than I am or I could ever be. I love my family more than anything in this world but God loves my family even more; I can never match His standards of love, nor could my earthly father.

Through this incident, the Lord was also dealing with my thought patterns. And I had to be intentional about breaking my victim mentality, doubt, and self-pity.

Proverbs 13:12 says,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life

Yes, I felt pained seeing my son ill but I had to hold on to my faith in God–the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. The fact was that I was reflecting hopelessness onto my family as well. So, I walked out of my kitchen, went into the kids’ room, and started worshipping with them. Judah, Sairah, and I began declaring Psalm 91 into our situation and within 10 minutes, I felt the heavy boulder that I was tied to being cut loose; I felt lighter as the heaviness in my spirit was not there anymore. Within a couple of minutes, we saw Judah’s temperature drastically drop; he seemed a lot better. We had our guests over as planned, our faith levels were boosted and I was all ready to get a good night’s sleep. However, later that night, Judah’s fever was back. It was another sleepless night. But I was cautious and intentional about not letting anything negative bog me down.

The Lord reminded me of Colossians 3:2,
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

I set my mind on God and His Word instead of dwelling on my situation. Despite the fatigue and the sleeplessness, I was at peace, knowing that my Heavenly Father will see us through this period. Yes, we had challenges that could have stopped us from accomplishing what God wanted us to do but we were able to tick all those boxes through His divine strength and peace. The enemy is constantly trying to make us feel defeated, question our faith, devour, and destroy us.

As John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Be quick to understand the enemy’s plots so that every time he strikes, we look up to God instead of looking down at our situation. God is much bigger than how we are feeling right now. Know that He is mindful of everything that happens in our lives. So, if you are struggling this week, know that God is for you, He sees you and He will take you through the struggle just like He did for us.

When I say that I don’t have what it takes to get through my situation,
God says, “You don’t have to, because I do!”

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To Do

This week I urge you to write down three challenges that you are struggling with. We have picked out some of our favorite verses from the Bible that remind us of His faithfulness and reassure us that God is for us, not against us. The ‘Problem vs Promise’ sheet is for you to be reminded of the goodness and faithfulness of the Heavenly Father who is always by your side even when you don’t feel His presence. Also, write to us your favorite verse and we will add it to our sheet.