Am I still my Pappa’s daughter?

“Oh! the blessedness of trusting Christ…”—said my all-time favourite heroes of faith, George Muller. As I turned a year older last month, I say the same. Today, I look back and I can boldly say that my family and I learnt how to truly trust God in faith-stretching circumstances. Storm or calm, He is our anchor that prevents the ship from drifting due to wind or current. He has also got the rudder that navigates us through the roughest of seas. And as for us, we just hold on to Him. I have tasted and seen God’s goodness and how He surprised me with so many wonderful blessings—how He comes right in time and gives a solution in times of a crisis. I can go on and on about how marvellously God has worked in our lives.

It was my second birthday without my father around. Pappa used to be the first to wish me and would not only speak a blessing over me but also give me a powerful ‘wisdom capsule’ from the Word of God. I miss him a lot! —not sure how much this statement captures the intensity of my emotion but if you have been following my blogs, you have seen my journey. I miss hearing his voice over the phone, his words of encouragement and his child-like joy every time he meets us in person. But it is amazing how God strategically places the right people around you—my husband went out of his way to make my last two birthdays super special. I am always grateful to God for blessing me with a partner who not only loves me dearly but also refines me and shows me a bit of Christ every day.

This week, I want to touch a statement that hurt me when I first heard it but it also pushed me to look for the truth. “Your dad is no longer your dad!”—a blunt statement. The justification that was given was something on the line that my father’s earthly journey as my parent is over and he will no longer be my father here, or in heaven. My heart broke when I heard this. 

“Will my Pappa remember me?”

“Am I still his daughter?”

“Was this something just to add to my experience list on earth?”

“Is Heaven going to be different?”

I kept wrestling with these questions. I heard sermons after sermons on heaven, I asked questions to people and delved into the Word to find my answers. Interestingly, a week before my birthday, I got my answer from a surprising source. 

I do not know if you are like me who has thousands of unread emails. My answer came from one these mails. Years back, I had started following the blogs by Desiring God; most of the stories are written by John Piper. He has a segment wherein he invites questions and answers them. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was skimming through my mails, and my eyes stopped skipping mails at a subject tagged “Will my spouse be me best friend in Heaven?”

Bingo! 

I just had to read this one.

Here is an excerpt from his answer to the question that a young lady asked him after she lost her beloved husband:

“…..in this present life, every relationship of love, and faithfulness, and loyalty, and sacrifice, and care will be celebrated for all eternity in tribute to the grace of God and the faithfulness of his obedient child. The “well done, good and faithful servant” that Jesus speaks to his faithful followers at the resurrection is a well done in every fruitful relationship (Mathew 25:23). Well done for that beautiful love. Well done.

God’s gracious approval of our imperfect works of faith is not a celebrative bubble that pops at the second coming and is forgotten for eternity. There are eternal good effects to all good done on the earth. Ephesians 6:8 says, “Whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord.” Good parenting that lasts five years before a child is snatched away in a car accident; good chastity during engagement before a fiancé dies of a heart attack before the wedding; good faithfulness and intense, mutually self-giving romance in marriage that she describes — these will not be meaningless in heaven. They won’t.”

“Well done Pappa!”—that is what my father would hear. I was filled with so much peace just reading Piper’s answer. 

Then he goes on to say,

“Every good and beautiful fruit of God’s Spirit in your life will reverberate forever to the tribute of his grace and your faith. That’s the first thing to say. The sweetness and intensity of the love between you and your husband will have its echo in the music of heaven. It wasn’t in vain.”

This is what I needed to hear. I could tag this email as the best birthday gift that God gave me this year—how He used Piper to answer my doubt, how He used that young lady to ask my question. I feel so at peace just knowing that the relationship I enjoyed with my father will echo in the music of heaven, and it wasn’t in vain. I hope this brings you comfort and peace as well, if you are struggling with the same questions.

I went through a brutal season of pain and uncertainty, so I know how loss can feel. My heart goes out to those who have lost a father, mother, sibling, spouse or child. From my experience, I can say that it only God who can truly comfort you. No man can give you the joy and peace, and even good sleep at night, the way God does.

Have you lost a loved one recently? Are you struggling to understand heaven and whether you would really meet them there? Are you being hassled by people with hurtful comments? Don’t fret, God is still in control. If you need an ear to listen to you, we are here to help. Our team at Ela Koinonia would love to pray for you and with you. Our platform strives to be real and truthful about everything that we do—be it questions, answers, experiences and prayers. If you have a question that is bugging you, write to us and we will try to answer to the best of our knowledge in line with the Word of God.